Sermons | FBC Boerne

Sunday Sermon | Prayer: Relationships

• FBC Boerne • Season 1 • Episode 11

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What if the future of your faith begins at your kitchen table? We bring a clear, urgent message about the courage it takes to let God search our relationships and the freedom that follows when we finally face what we’ve been avoiding. Starting with Samuel’s remarkable moment of public integrity at Gilgal, we set a high bar for honesty and humility. Then we turn to the wreckage inside David’s home—Tamar’s trauma, Amnon’s sin, and Absalom’s bitter path—to show how passivity at home can ripple through an entire community and derail a calling.

Across the conversation, we keep the focus practical and hopeful. We talk about how to start hard conversations without having perfect words, why asking for help is a strength, and how biblical counseling and trusted friends can guide you through conflict. We draw a straight line between household health and spiritual impact: you cannot love the God you do not see while refusing to love the people you do see. Mission begins where you live, and revival doesn’t skip the living room.

The heart of the episode lands on forgiveness. We share a vulnerable counseling story that traces the long, imperfect road toward forgiving a grievous wrong and the real freedom that followed. Forgiveness never excuses evil; it says, I trust God’s justice more than my own. If you sense the Spirit nudging you toward action—making a call, confessing to your spouse, or seeking help—this is your invitation to move. Subscribe for more honest, hope-filled messages, share this with someone who needs courage today, and leave a review to help others find the path toward healing and freedom.

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SPEAKER_00:

All right, good morning, church family. If you're a guest with us this morning, let me welcome you. Uh let me introduce myself. My name is Jason Smith. I'm the pastor here at First Baptist, and it is a privilege to have you with us, and uh we we are grateful for your presence. Church family, we are in the middle of uh we just finished the first week on 21 days of prayer. Okay, and uh I've received quite a bit of feedback from uh many of you just about how the Lord has been working powerfully this past week. Let me uh if you weren't here last week, it is not too late to jump in, okay? This is really easy, it's really simple, it's something that we are doing together. You can pick up one of these in the plaza on your way out. As Daniel said at the top of the uh at the top of the service, if you want to scan the QR code, you can get emails sent to you. Listen to me. We believe and we trust that God is near, right? He sent his son for us, and so we are gonna be intentional about praying together. Okay? Now, last week we asked, we asked the Lord to search our hearts, right? Because we want to know him, we want to love him more and deeply. Remember that if the Spirit of God convicts, he does so in order to bring life. Okay? You believe that, right? That if you say, God, search me, that the Spirit of God will do so to bring life. So this week, guys, we're gonna be asking, Lord, we're gonna say, search me in my relationships. Okay? Help me to deal with the stuff of relationships in my life, okay? Alright, so turn with me in your Bibles to 2 Samuel chapter 14. 2 Samuel 14. If you don't have a Bible, there's a Bible in the Pureck in front of you. You can keep that as a gift from us to you so that you can have a copy of God's word. Hold your spot there in 2 Samuel 14. Uh we're gonna be flipping to chapter 13 a little bit. I'm gonna read a passage here in just a moment. But I want you to picture, this is a different scene, okay? I want you to picture this scene near the end of Samuel's life. Samuel is old and gray. He has walked before Israel as the prophet for almost his entire life. But now he is advanced in years, and Israel has demanded a king. And so all of Israel is gathered at Gilgal, where Samuel anoints Saul as the first king of Israel. But with the entire nation's attention, and before the newly anointed king, Samuel actually steals the show. With one of the bravest moments in the whole of Scripture. Samuel turns to the nation and addresses the massive crowd, and this is what he says: I have walked before you from my youth until now I am old and gray. Here I am. Bear witness against me, before God Almighty and before the newly anointed King. Have I wronged any of you? Do any of you have anything against me? Have I taken anything? Have I defrauded any of you? Have I oppressed anyone? Does anyone have anything against me? And if so, I will ask for your forgiveness and I will restore it to you right now. And the people reply, Samuel, before God Almighty and before all of us, there is nothing, Samuel. What an incredible moment. Talk about bravery. Talk about humility. And then think of the freedom on the other side of that. Church, this courageous step is where God is asking us to go this week. Last week we said, God, I want to know you more. I want to love you. Would you search my heart? God, I give you access to every nook and every room in my heart, every corner that I have that I have hidden. Because I want to know you, would you convict me? Would you search me and see if there is any way in me that that is not pleasing to you? And He has. Church Family God is moving. I had a number of appointments and phone calls and prayers this week. You see, to deal with the deep issues of the heart, it's not easy, is it? Listen, keep seeking. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. In church, this week, we're taking the courageous step of asking about our relationships. How is my love towards people? For we cannot love God whom we have not seen, if we do not love others whom we do see. Am I patient and kind and honest and full of integrity? How is my marriage? Could you imagine if Samuel's wife stood up in this scene and said, um, you uh you love them more than you love me? You abandoned me because you were always somewhere else. Now she didn't. How am I as a parent? A son or a daughter, a friend, a church member, a coworker, all the hats you wear, Holy Spirit, will you show me the relationships that I have ignored that needs attention today? Father, who have I wronged that I need to make right? Or even who do I need to forgive? Now let's jump from Samuel's courage into our text today, which is of David's passivity. And we're gonna see how when we fail to confront that which is broken, oh my goodness. My goodness. We're gonna be parachuting into a scene that's full of the messiness of David's home. Now, I'll come back after we read it. I'm gonna I'm gonna build it, I'm gonna give you the details, but but just real quick before we read this, this is David's son Absalom has already killed his brother, David's firstborn Amnon. And Absalom has been away for three years, and David finally calls him home. 2 Samuel 14, verses 23 through 30. Listen, I'm gonna read 23 and 24. So Joab rose and went to Gesher and brought Absalom to Jerusalem. However, the king said, Let him turn to his own house and let him not see my face. So Absalom turned to his own house and did not see the king's face. Now skip down to verse 28. Now Absalom lived two full years in Jerusalem and did not see the king's face. Then Absalom sent for Joab to send him to the king, but he would not come to him. So he sent to him a second time, but he would not come to him. Therefore he said to his servant, see Joab's field is next to mine, and he has barley there, go and set it on fire. So Absalom set his field on fire. Will you pray with me? Heavenly Father, this morning we we come to your word. And we pray right now in the mighty name of Jesus that your spirit would move amongst us through your word and through my words. Father, I pray only you are the one who is delicate enough to deal with the depth of our soul. Father, we trust that you would do that well this morning. We trust that your spirit would would call to mind the areas in our life that we have ignored and need to address in our relationships. Call those to mind this morning, Father. Father, we trust you that if you are calling us to deal with something, you are going to give us the wisdom to do so. The strength, the courage, as you give us the right words to say, and because you are calling us to life on the other side. Father, we want to walk in freedom. We want to walk in victory. I Father, I know all across this room that there is undealt with relationships, things that have been swept under the rug, that God, you want to deal with us. And I pray, I pray, Father, for your spirit to convict and for your spirit to strengthen, and for your spirit to give courage this day. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Alright, so we are, like I said, we are parachuting into a scene, into the absolute messiness of David's life. David has many children by many wives. And lest you glorify that in your mind, it is an absolute dumpster fire. Okay? Let me read Andrew White. Polygamy is just the Greek word for dung hill. David trampled down the first and best law of nature, and for his trouble, he spent all of his days in hell upon earth. David's palace was a perfect pandemonium of suspicion and jealousy and hatred, all breaking out now into incest and now into murder. Amnon, David's oldest his firstborn, began to lust for his half-sister Tamor. And he tricks her and he violates her and then he hates her. Tamar runs to her full brother Absalom, who cares for her, but then waits his time and in two years kills his brother. After killing Amnon, Absalom runs to his grandfather's house to wait it out. He's there for three years with grandpa. Finally, David gets convinced to bring Absalom home, but as we just read, when Absalom finally comes home, David refuses to see him to deal with him for two years. That'll give us the context for me to make three points about relationships this morning. First, I want us at the very beginning to step back and look all the way to the end and see the destruction that David's home and his relationships had on God's kingdom. Not as politics, not as political alignments. His home and his relationships had on God's kingdom. Now, when you read the Bible as a story, you're supposed to read the Bible as a story, and you get to David, you realize that David is a man after God's own heart. And he has finally achieved peace in the land. For more than a decade, David persevered as the evil King Saul persecuted him, and David persevered, but finally David had become king. And when David becomes king, he ushers in greatness, a shining city on a hill. He relocates the capital to Jerusalem. He brings in the tabernacle, God's dwelling place. He ushers back in the Ark of the Covenant into the tabernacle. David is the warrior king who has established peace all through the land. And then in chapter seven of 2 Samuel, David receives promises from God of an everlasting dynasty, kingdom. You need to picture a shining city on a hill. So blessed that all the nations will flock to it. When you read the first seven chapters of 2 Samuel, okay, God is fulfilling the promises given to Moses that if you are faithful and if you are obedient and if you go into the land and all these good things, you will become a shining city on a hill, and all the nations will flock and say, I want your God, because you are so blessed. And so you read the first seven chapters, and it's idyllic. You're like, finally, finally, we have a king who is a man after God's own heart. But then what immediately follows? David sin with Bathsheba. And his home being an absolute train wreck. And everything comes crashing down. Okay? That paradise was a mirage. Everything comes crashing, crashing down. Solomon his son has more than a thousand women. The king after that, the kingdom is split, the kings are evil, and we are sprinting towards exile. And we are longing for a better David. Now here's my point. The great turning points in God's redemptive plan often hinge on how people handle their relationships. What is highlighted right here at this pivot point? David's sin and his dysfunctional relationships. For we cannot love God whom we have not seen. If we do not love others whom we do see. You see, next week, church family, we're going to be praying for the lost people in your life. We're going to be praying for a revival in our community and in our nation. We're going to be praying for God's kingdom to come. For our purpose in God's kingdom work. Listen, I know that you and I are in an entrepreneurial age when everyone is gifted to go and to go and to go. And I'm all for it. This is great. As a church, we want to deploy you on God's kingdom adventure. But hear the word of God. See the distortion of the gospel when David does not deal with the sin in his life and the mess of relationships that are right there. I know it's difficult, but those relationships are kingdom work. Would you rather a firefighter? Why would he go across town to put out the fire in his neighbor's home while his house burns? Point number two. David would not address the issues in his own home. In his own home, David is called, he has God-given authority as the head, as the husband, as the father, to lead, to provide, to protect, and to lead his God-given authority. And David would not press into and lead his own home. We're going to go back a chapter in 2 Samuel chapter 13. This is right after Amnon has violated Tamar. At the end of verse 20, it says, So Tamar remained and was desolate in her brother Absalom's house. Now when King David heard all these matters, he was very angry. But Absalom did not speak to Amnon, either good or bad, for Absalom hated Amnon because he had violated his sister. Now it came about after two full years that Absalom, and then it goes on, and it's going to go into the Absalom's plan to trick and to kill his brother. You see, David's angry. We get no word about that. He didn't comfort his own daughter. He did not confront his own son in the evil that had taken place. His two sons hadn't spoken in two years. And it just boils beneath the surface. Where is Dad? Where is Dad? Is he checked out at work? Is he paralyzed because of his own past sins? Where is Dad? Oh, but don't you worry. Listen, they had all the nicest stuff. Don't you worry. They wore lululemon and poncho, everything. They just didn't have a dad to disciple them. So after two years, Absalom takes matters into his own hands and kills his brother and then runs to grandpa's house. Now, oddly, when you read it, the only part you get, you get this scene of Absalom badgering David like a spoiled kid to execute his plan, like he manipulated, like he intimidated David. 2 Samuel 13, verses 38 and 39. So Absalom had fled and gone to Gesher and was there three years. The heart of David longed to go out to Absalom, for he was comforted concerning Amnon, since he was dead. You see that last statement? It's really odd. You see, David knew that what Absalom did was, sorry, what Amnon did was evil. He knew that he needed to confront him, and he knew that his son needed to repent. But he did nothing. He was frozen in passivity. And now that Amnon is dead, David's comfort is well, at least I don't have that hanging over me anymore. Now his heart longs to deal with Absalom. But for three years he's still frozen. Unable to confront. Unable to confess. To confess his own shortcomings as a father. Unable to roll up his sleeves and get into the messiness of life and relationships and just work it out. Right? Because what if I say something wrong? What if I make matters worse? Now it's best to just keep pushing this off. So after three years, Joab convinces David to bring Absalom back. And so he does. But as we read at the beginning, David refuses to see him, sends him to his own home. And David makes sure that their paths never cross. Back in chapter 14, verse 24. However, the king said, Let him turn to his own house and let him not see my face. So Absalom turned to his own house and did not see the king's face. Verse 28. Asalom lived two full years in Jerusalem and did not see the king's face. Now I think you get the point. David was passive and did not deal with the relationship issues in his life. But he was a great leader and a king and a warrior. Yeah, but his legacy is a divided house that spirals into chaos and eventually leads to no king reigning on the throne. Until the king of kings comes out of darkness and we see the great light. This week we are asking you to assess all your relationships, all the hats you wear, to do so like Samuel in our introduction. The church family, I specifically chose this passage to jump into with my time, because the reality is, is our family is our first ministry. Love God. Love your family. Beloved, how is your marriage? How is your marriage? How is your home? Are there things hiding underneath the surface that your kids long to talk to you about? But you are too scared to address them. I get you don't have the answers. Do you not have the courage to address that which is in front of you? Do you not have the courage to apologize, to say, as a parent, I don't have all the answers. I'm sorry. I'm doing the best I can. Would you forgive me? Would you say to your kids, forgive me? Why do we not address stuff? Our homes are broken. Our marriage is broken. And it never comes up around here until it's, yeah, we couldn't work things out. We're just getting a divorce. Help the kids deal with it. Friend, they don't go away. The issues don't go away. Consider the cost of David's passivity. You say, what do I do? Okay, first, pray. Right? Pray that God would give you the courage to just start the conversation. I know the conversations are tough. Just pray that God gives you the courage to start the conversation. Okay, you don't have to say it all right. Sometimes it just comes out messy. Okay, I'm sorry. That's real life. It just comes out messy. Two, ask for help. That's why we exist as a church. Okay, ask for help. Ask for prayer from church members, right? We have resources. We we want to equip you how to have difficult conversations, how to be a parent. We have biblical counseling. We want to help you. In fact, I'm gonna ask you right now to take a step of courage. You see this card, the connection card on the back is our faith response. You want to take a step of courage right now? Write out a prayer request. Just saying, I have this issue. Will you pray with me? And you can drop it in the bucket on your way out. You can write your name down and we will contact you. We will pray with you. Take a step that I'm not gonna keep being passive and ignoring that which is which the Lord has called me to deal with. As far as it depends upon you, be at peace with all men. Okay? Listen. Many of you in this room are saying, look, I I've tried, and the person I'm dealing with won't reciprocate. Okay. I get it. As far as it depends upon you, be at peace with all men. Thirdly. The pain David ignored and his children eventually bore bitter fruit. So for my third point, I want us to focus on Absalom. Because he was met with difficult circumstances. And he had the option, swallow the bitter pill or rise to his destiny. So as the scene starts out, Tamar is Absalom's full sister. Okay? Same mom. He's very close with her. And she comes to him, right? Broken. Broken after Amnon's abuse. And he takes her in and he comforts her. He becomes her protector and her hiding place. He becomes all the things that David should have done. He does. So pause the story right there. What is Absalom's destiny? I could argue to you that he should be the next king of Israel. Amnon, the firstborn, is obviously disqualified. And David's second son seemingly dies young. Absalom is next in line. Absalom's destiny could have been to be the next king. A man shaped by God's grace and justice. But he is met with a horrible situation of no fault of his own. And what does he do with it? Does he wrestle with God? Does he seek wise counsel? Does he find support so that he can address this in a godly way? Does his story become like Joseph? Man, you want to talk about someone that suffered injustice, right? For no fault of his own. But ends up being an amazing story of God's grace and forgiveness. What you meant for evil, God meant it for good. Is that what happens to Absalom? No. He quietly swallows that bitter pill of anger and resentment. He doesn't talk to anyone about it. He rages inside and bides his time and two years later murders his brother. And then will usurp his father and die a rebel. Now I circled back to this story and to Absalom. Because many of you in this room, you have deep scars of no fault of your own. And you're at crossroads. Swallow the bitter pill or rise up to your destiny. You feel the bitterness burning inside of you. With everything inside of you, you try and stuff it down, but it keeps boiling up. And this morning the Holy Spirit is saying to you, it's finally time to deal with that. Yes, it's time to forgive. A young lady recently engaged, about 10 years ago, walked into my office. Let's call her Kelly. She told me that she had lived most of her life in perpetual fear. She wanted help, but she didn't know where to start. Over the course of the next hour, she began to unfold childhood abuse that honestly is the worst I had ever counseled and the worst I'd ever heard. I held it together with all the strength I had until she walked out of my office, where afterwards all I could do was weep. The next time we met, it was my turn to let her know that the process would go at her pace. It would take as long as she needed. But that if she wanted to find the freedom that she sought, Jesus required that she would forgive her abuser. It's not saying that it wasn't evil. Forgiveness says, God, I trust your justice more than mine. It was brutal. So many times she wanted to quit. Didn't think she had what it took to face. But as the saying goes, forgiveness is to set the prisoner free and to find out that the prisoner was me. Now in the end, Kelly confronted her abuser, and she forgave him. And she found that God's grace was sufficient for every step of the journey. And that there was genuine freedom on the other side in King Jesus. This week God is calling us to courageous honesty. Like Samuel standing before all of Israel. May we have the courage to say, here I am, Lord, search me. Is there anyone that I have wronged? Is there anything that I have left undone? That takes bravery. It takes humility. But on the other side of that cost, there is freedom. Because the truth is that the health of God's kingdom begins with the health of our homes. It's not enough for you to be successful at work and to serve and to church while you quietly ignore that which is smoldering underneath the surface. David's passivity just didn't cost him the peace in his home. It rippled through the entire nation. If we are honest, many of us know exactly how that feels. Because we sense that there are conversations left unspoken, hurts left unhealed, and forgiveness left unoffered. But God doesn't press us, God doesn't expose these things in our hearts to hurt us. He wants to bring you life, believer. He wants to bring you to freedom into healing. So if you hear this morning the Spirit of God speaking to you, maybe it means a phone call to a son or a daughter. Maybe it means confessing something to your spouse. Maybe it means forgiving someone who deeply hurt you. Not because they deserve it, but because you need to be set free. Church, let's not be like David. Let's not be like David, who who refused to address that which was broken. But let us be like Samuel, who said, Here am I. Bear witness against me. Let us be like Jesus, who forgave even from the cross. Even from the cross. The revival that you and I seek, it begins right here. In our hearts and in our relationships. Will you pray with me? But Father, we we praise you. We praise you for the truth of you being able to deal with and to address all the messiness of the relationships in our life. We praise you that you are a God who calls us forward into freedom. Into freedom. So Father, again, we pray your courage. We pray your courage over individuals that need to pick up the phone. God, give them courage. Give them hope. Allow them to see and to sense the victory on the other side. Jesus, we trust you. We trust you with even the difficult things. You who have loved us at our worst, who see all of our mess, all of our confusion, all of our sin. And you died for us. King Jesus, we trust you. It's in your name we pray. Amen. Church family, the praise team is going to come and lead us in two songs, and that gives us a time, a chance to respond. Okay? You have heard God's word this morning. You must respond. You must. I've given you different options. We're gonna stand, we're gonna sing in faith. If you want to write out a prayer request, we'll have ministers down here at the front who would love to pray with you, want to carry a burden with you, want to help you to unlock that which is stuck. Whatever you need. The only genuine option you don't have, I mean, you have it, but I am begging you, do not harden your heart and just bury your head in the sand. Be obedient to whatever the Spirit of God has stirred inside of you this morning. Would you stand?